In conjunction with Wesak Day celebrations which falls today, (the 10th of May 2017), I would like to wish all my beloved followers of this blog, who are Buddhists, a very Happy Wesak Day. If I understand it correctly, Wesak Day is observed on a full moon day, that falls in the month of May. It is observed as the day that Gautama Buddha was born on, attained enlightenment and then passed away[1].
As to my non-Buddhist fellow Malaysians (and others who live in a country that observes Wesak Day as a Public Holiday), let us enjoy something that we Malaysians have in common, regardless of our race or religion. Let us all enjoy a well deserved Public Holiday. As it is, this happens to be the last Public Holiday to be observed nationwide in May, until we celebrate Hari Raya Puasa some time in June. So, have a good break with your loved ones on this holiday and return fresh as well as reinvigorated to work the next day.
A few weekends ago, I had the pleasure of meeting up with a bunch of old friends from my days of living at the 8th Residential College (better know as Kolej Kinabalu), during my student days at the University of Malaya. I first met this group, consisting of young energetic boys and charismatic girls during an interesting week in May, almost 19 years ago. This was the Orientation Week in campus where all the first year students got our first taste of life in campus.
It was indeed an interesting mix of people who stepped into campus that week. There were those from the cities and towns all around the country. Then there were those from the outskirts, villages and rural parts of the country. There were those who looked very much their age as a teenager crossing into young adulthood. Then there were those who looked very matured and experienced. There were those who looked confident and sure about where they were and what they were going to do. Then there were those who looked a little concerned about what the next couple of weeks held for them and what they were going to do about it.
Regardless of those differences, we slowly but surely got together, an odd group of mismatched people. We started off together, as we would be staying at the 8th Residential College, at least for the first year of our life on campus. Staying together, we slowly became each other’s family in abscence, in campus. As the week progressed we begun to be each other’s source of support and that is how it stayed throughout life in campus.
In the first week, we faced a number of questions as we settled into life in campus. There were questions that were considered as very complex at that time, such as details on getting registered for courses and classes at the various faculties, getting the student matrix cards, obtaining study loans and scholarships, navigating carefully through the myriad of forms and processes, and so much more. Then there were the silliest of questions, such as where and which public phones worked efficiently, how and where to get good food, fastest way to move between different places, which toilets worked well and other silly stuff. The fact was, we were each other’s immediate support group. Someone had information that someone else required. Someone always knew someone else from somewhere who may have the answer to the question that someone had. Someone was always around or a call away in the event help was needed.
During our time in campus, some of us would eat together during meal times at the Residential College or during supper. Some of us would end up queueing together, waiting for the public telephone to become available. Some of us would walk together to our various faculties. Considering where our Residential College was located, most us had long walks to our faculties and back. Some of us would work together during projects or activities organised by the various student bodies. Some of us would study together. All this helped us bond with each other even further.
As the weeks wore on, turning into months and then years, some moved closer to each other while others edged away slowly. Some moved on, as they associated themselves with different groups of people throughout life in campus. Some moved out of the Residential College to live at the various apartments nearby campus. Some spent more time at the faculty or library to work on their assignments or research and to study with their coursemates. Then there were some who spent more time working hard on wooing that special someone. Through it all, we would still get together for some common occasions like key activities that were held at the Residential College or for birthdays.
Due to the differences in the duration of study for the various courses in campus, some of us ended up graduating earlier than the others. Upon graduation, each of us started off with our respective careers and then worked hard building it. Some stayed on in Klang Valley. Some returned to their hometowns. Some moved to other parts of Malaysia. Some even migrated out of Malaysia. Some continued to further their education before looking for a job.
Through it all, some of us would get together during weddings as people started to get married. As the years rolled on though, we begun to lose touch with each other, keeping in touch with only those that we were very close with throughout life in campus. Of course, technology, especially Facebook, allowed some of us to keep track of each other but only by that much.
Then, someone decided to further the use of technology by creating a Watsapp group. The group grew slowly but surely, as each person added someone else. Eventually almost everybody that could be located were in the group and it seemed like we were back in campus, virtually.
There were days when the group chat would be flooded with so many messages that it took quite a while to read them all. I even recall asking for a summary as there were just so many messages to catch up with, which by the way I did get immediately. Then there were days in a stretch where the group would be silent. Birthdays and special occasions were celebrated within the Watsapp group. Seeing how we were enjoying each others’ companionship via the Watsapp group, someone finally suggested for a simple get together.
That was how, after almost 19 years, a small motley group of us found ourselves together in a quaint clubhouse-cum-restaurant nestled in a quiet part of Petaling Jaya, just outside University of Malaya. As we trickled into the clubhouse-cum-restaurant one at a time, we greeted and embraced each other. There was indeed a little bit of awkwardness for some of us in the beginning as we reintroduced and acquainted ourselves with one another. As the latecomers walked in, they were warmly welcomed into the fold.
Then, as the conversations warmed up, as the murmurs and laughters became louder, as we regaled each other with the funny, quirky, odd, scary or sad experiences, tales that only some knew but others had no knowledge about, we grew comfortable as a group, just as it was almost 19 years ago. Ahh…. how the young energetic boys and charismatic girls from almost 19 years ago, have morphed into awesome men and amazing women.
It took quite a while for us to get to the beginning of our journey in parenthood. There were the false starts. There were the long gaps of waiting in between the many false starts. There were the anxious moments of trying to be parents and then waiting to find out if we were ever going to get there. Then there were the trying periods of getting over the disappointments and trying all over again.
So along the way, while waiting to actually start our journey in parenthood, we accumulated a significant amount of theoretical knowledge on what to expect and do when we do become parents. We received lots of advice from our parents and close friends on what to expect and do when we did become parents. We amassed quite a number of books along the way on what to expect and do when we stepped into parenthood. We read articles online on what to expect and do when we got our baby. Armed with all this knowledge we thought we at least had some basic information on what to expect and do when we finally became parents. We had no idea how far off the mark we were at that time.
In the very first week, we realised that there was the language barrier. Trying to figure out what he meant, was trying. Was the little fellow indicating that he was hungry? Was he trying to say that he wants to sleep? Was he in pain? What was he friend trying to say? No amount of learning a language or a variety of languages could have prepared us for this. Slowly, we somehow begun to understand what his cries meant, most of the time. We managed to figure out which cry meant he was hungry, sleepy or uncomfortable and got it right most of the times. During the times, of which there were many, when we had no idea what he wanted, there was nothing else to do but to just hold him and coo sweet nothings into his ear.
Next, there was our battle with sleep. Our little hero decided that he loved us very much and wanted to spend every moment of the day with us. In the beginning, he started of by waking up and crying almost every other hour throughout the night. Of course, we had to keep him company while trying to figure out exactly what he wanted. I still recall a moment in the early hours of the morning, when utterly exhausted, I asked my wife if it is going to be like this every single night. She replied back in between yawns, hopefully not. Thankfully, little hero realised that he needs to sleep too and brought down his late night and early morning activities to a minimum. Having said that, these days, uninterrupted sleep at night or at any time of the day for the matter is truly a blessing.
Then of course, there was the matter of cleaning the baby. It amazes me how everything on Earth was created with balance in mind. A baby is a gentle reminder of this balance. An amazingly beautiful and soft baby, can sure release an unimaginable amount of waste in a variety of texture, accompanied by an indescribable aroma. Cleaning up after a squirming baby without getting any of the interesting stuff in the diaper on us or the table is not a task for the faint hearted. Anybody who is into researching the next big secret weapon, should definitely look into baby waste laced diapers. It is cheap, natural and easily available in large quantities.
Laundry took up a whole new meaning. It seemed like we had opened up a laundromat at home, minus the coin operated washers and dryers. I remember washing his clothes almost every other day, or was it every day? There was no help to be expected from the washing machine as baby’s clothes must not go through the washing machine. It was back to washing every single piece of the tiny and delicate article of clothing by hand, just as we had done in the age before we had a washing machine. As much as we wanted to be environmentally friendly, we had to concede to using diapers instead of the age-old soft white napkins. It was either that or an extended amount of time washing clothes.
By the end of the first week, my wife and I were exhausted beyond words. The picture above pretty much captured what we so badly wanted. Our baby literally kept us on our toes every moment of the day. Slowly and surely, just as our little friend got the hang of coming out into the world, we got used to having him around us. So, started our journey in parenthood.
P.S.: The featured image of this article was sourced from Pexels
