That moment

In that one moment, just over ten months ago, our lives took a change for the abrupt. A moment that my wife and I could have only dreamt about, over the years that we have been married. A moment that we both would conjure up in our minds, allowing ourselves to be in the moment and imagine how it would feel like. A moment that kept itself at a distant, unreachable every time we attempted to attain it. A moment which brought us many a tear, when we allowed the thought of never having that moment, creep into our minds. A moment that we both longed to be in, even if it was for just for a moment.

When that moment finally arrived, it was absolutely mind-boggling to say the least. Ten months on, I can still recall the tears rolling down the cheeks of my wife. Etched on her face, were joy and fear, excitement and worry, exhilaration and turmoil, wonder and unbelief, relief and pain, amazement and admiration, love and devotion and so much more. Her hands clutching mine and tightening its grip over mine. All the emotions that had stayed hidden over the years of waiting for that moment to arrive, revealed themselves at that very moment. There just isn’t one word to describe it. The closest words in the vocabulary that comes to my mind would be overwhelming and indescribable but they do no justice to that moment.

It was at that very moment, I realised my throat had become tighter. I felt the need to breathe rather that doing in unconsciously as I have done all my life. I noticed a trickle of tear breaking free from my eye, making its way down my cheeks and beyond. Surprisingly it was joined by another trickle, down the other cheek. Then there were more. My hand that my wife had clenched, clenched that of my wife in return. The other tried in vain to discreetly wipe off the drops of water streaking down my cheeks. Boys don’t cry, what more big boys, do they? It dawned to me then, that I likely mirrored the very emotions that i observed on my wife’s face.

Baby feet_CourtesyOfDuaSenku
Baby feet – Courtesy of DuaSenku.com

At that moment, as we looked down at the tiny one, all bundled up in a blue cotton peppered with little patterns on it, all sorts of questions came crawling into our minds. Questions, mostly starting with “How”s and “What”s with a sprinkling of “Can we”s and “Will we”s. All sorts of doubts imaginable decided to settle down and take roots, in the deep recess of our minds. Dread beginning to hover around us. Confidence decided then, that it was a good time as any to take a stroll, away from us. The air seemed to have become just that bit thinner and the light a little dimmer. Everything seemed to have slowed down at that very moment, bordering on freezing on us.

A moment that was broken by the slight movement of the little one, in the blue bundle. The slightest of twitches around his mouth, as if wanting to resemble a little smile. A slight turn of his head, as if positioning his ear to listen. A slighter twitch of the eye, as if wanting to open up and see the astonished pairs of eyes that were gazing at him then. Movements within the bundle as if wanting to free himself from the confines of the blue cotton wrap, to greet the world. Then just as abruptly as it had started, there was nothing but stillness as the little one continued with his deep slumber.

pexels-photo-268533

That moment as peace peace and calmness settled on his face, we knew that everything will be alright. After all, millions if not billions had become parents for the very first time before us over the ages and pretty sure millions if not billions more will do so in ages to come. There was nothing else to do other than to capture that moment in our minds for posterity. Make that moment a bookmark in our book of life, as the start of a great chapter. A chapter that was long due and would lead to even more interesting and exciting chapters in time to come. A moment that one can only thank God for. Thank God for that moment.

Ahh…that first post

The image pretty much sums up what I had in front of me after hours of sitting in front of my laptop, supposedly working on my first post. It is funny to think, that when I am finally ready to publish my first post, I actually run up a blank wall.

After years of waiting to set up my very first corner in cyberspace, which I hope will be the start of more to come. After months of spending time researching and then building up the site to my satisfaction, which I strongly believe can be improved on further. After weeks of thinking about the topics that I will write about, which interestingly was done unconsciously while doing everything else except actually thinking of what to write about. After days of delaying on getting started on my first post, which I thought was just a matter of sitting down and actually typing out what was on my mind. After all that, I would have thought that it would be just a matter of minutes before the first post would be ready. Boy oh boy, how wrong was I.

I suppose this is normal and will attribute it to the feeling of being overwhelmed with the excitement, of actually publishing the first post. Though, I do wonder if the great writers of past and present started off being stuck at the beginning. For the benefit of my confidence, I will allow myself the believe that indeed great writers of the past and present started off being stuck at the beginning and more importantly, ended up writing tomes of stories that were well accepted.

Now that I am almost at the end of my first post, I am certain that I can look forward to many more posts to come. Besides, while working on this post, I already have some ideas on what I would like to write about next. This time around, I have done myself the favour of noting my thoughts down so that I would not be stuck when I am actually ready to put down those thoughts into words. After all that, I would not want to spend hours trying to get started on my second and subsequent posts, would I?